Paraphrase of a recent text conversation with a female friend I’ll call Sassy: Sassy: You should go, Siobhan is there CJ: No thanks, I’m still annoyed about 10pm girl Sassy: I misunderstood her message anyway, she’s at home CJ: For future reference, how the eff do you pronounce your friend’s name Sassy: Siobhan = “Shyvonne” [...]
“I’m definitely a foodie,” she said. What does that even mean? This has annoyed me for a while now. I mean, I’m pretty damn enthusiastic about food, too — in that I eat some of it every single day. Multiple times per day, usually. And I prefer good food to crappy food. Doesn’t everyone? I [...]
I got chastised, the other day, for giving “lame hugs.” I am apparently not sufficiently gropey when I hug my female friends. Please bear in mind that this critique came from my friend/co-worker’s long-time girlfriend. Call me crazy, but it seems like a good thing that I don’t get all pervo when in close contact [...]
True Life Stories is a an occasional series of narratives from my life, usually based around something funny or embarrassing. While I’m sometimes guilty of hyperbole, the major details are all 100% true. I was recently at a gathering for my best friend’s family, which can be a disorienting experience: his entire extended family is [...]
I took the Open Mic stage for the first time on July 23, 2008, at Giggles Comedy Club in Seattle. I had been writing, rehearsing, and preparing myself for months, and was certain that the material I brought was pure gold. I couldn’t wait to get up there and share my genius with the crowd. [...]
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