[NOTE: In Part 1, I suggested bringing a cheap digital camera to your shows, a recommendation that gave me an excuse to make fun of some Evergreen State hippies. This is Part 2, which shares several photos from the night and skips any attempt to be practical or helpful.]
I should mention first that there’s nothing on Earth that I want more than to be like my role model, Seattle comedian and GapKids© clothing model Andrew Rivers. He has a reputation as quite the ladies man in certain circles, legendarily engaging in all sorts of post-show pan-sexual orgies.
When I asked “>Andrew how I could be a pick-up artist like him, he said to just choose a girl and put the moves on her. So I gave it a try:
Soon enough I was indeed picking her up:
Despite what you might assume from my shockingly gay clothing choices, I did enjoy having an attractive comedy fan’s legs wrapped around my body.
As in all relationships, though, we had some communication problems:
Meanwhile, one of the other comedians doing a set was my friend Monica Nevi, whose joke-writing is far too clever for someone who (1) is also a college athlete and (2) has been doing stand-up for only six months. People this ridiculously talented are highly annoying to me, so I’ve been compensating by accusing her of being an android.
When Monica stepped outside after the show, she was suddenly confronted with our bizarre spectacle: