Creating a Comic

Partying sorority girls do something clever that a lot of us should emulate, is an actual sentence that I just typed. It’s true, though: when they go fratting they’ll bring a cheap digital camera,¹ and make a point of taking periodic snapshots in order to memorialize the carefree fun of being young, blackout drunk, and surrounded by rich handsome rapists.

Even for those of us who lack the glowing, pulsating, infectious crotch colonies of a pledge sister, it’s nice to have a photographic record of where we’ve been and what/who we’ve done.

For example, on Tuesday I was at the Royal Lounge Comedy Night down in Washington state’s capital city, Olympia.² I’m grateful MC Manus  and other impromptu photographers who helped me memorialize some fun that I had already forgotten about the very next day.

The first was my triumphant discovery of The Evergreen State College Most Granola Hipster Couple Ever. Behold…

HIM: Long-haul trucker, or irony-drenched undergrad?

HER: Getting slightly more of my personal attention

I enjoy talking to people after comedy shows because I can usually get away with saying some pretty outrageous shit, as long as I immediately play it off with “Ha ha, joking! Comedy guy!” This one was taken after a frank observation about their collective grooming:

All I said was that if they look down during sex, it must look like
the banging together of two giant tumbleweeds

Good times. So try to bring a cheap camera to your shows, is my point. I’ll bolster it soon with part 2, from that gig, once I’ve figured out which photos won’t irrevocably damage the lives of everyone involved.

1. Why not just use a phone? Because your phone is actually important and shouldn’t get beer dumped on it or be grabbed and passed around by strangers for an hour. I’m talking about cameras, btw, not sorority girls. [↩]
2. Olympia is our Washington’s capital city, and that’s capital with an “a”. It contains the government’s capitol building, which is capitol with an “o.” The reason for this is that English is a fucking mess. [↩]

Want to see a show by a successful national headliner who used to be a struggling local comic? Check the local comedy show calendars during the winter holidays. The comics who originally hailed from somewhere nearby may have moved on to LA, New York, or “the road” — but they still have family in the area, and will often come home to visit during the holidays.

And what could be more fun, for a conquering hero’s holiday homecoming, than to book the prime comedy clubs and venues in their old stomping grounds?¹ These are typically some of the best-attended, highest-quality comedy shows of the year, and are a lot of fun for the local comics who get booked in the opener slots.

There’s a catch, though: the seasonal influx of national headliners temporarily swells the local talent pool, so everyone who’s not a national headliner gets temporarily bumped down a rung. In practice this means that the regional headliners get bumped down to feature gigs; features are bumped to host and MC work, and the local host/MCs… well, we go back to the open mics.

Oh yeah, that’s another thing about the holiday season: the open mics also tend to be really, really crowded.

The holidays aren’t all bleak bookings and bump lists, though; yes, stage time and bookings are scarcer than usual, but they also offer a number of great opportunities to meet, watch, and learn from professional comedians. This type of off-stage socializing can be tremendously valuable, even more so than the stage time.²

1. Of course, booking this type of “working vacation” is also smart calendar management — and good business. This is one of the reasons they’re a successful headliner! [↩]
2. And remember, you can still have a productive open mic experience even when you don’t get to perform. [↩]

Professional tiger feeder. “Is this the worst job in the world — or the best?” asks The Atlantic, which I like to read because I am better than you:

Talk about a tough crowd (click for bigger pic)

On the one hand, look at all those hungry, beautiful tigers. And on the other hand, look at all those hungry, beautiful tigers.

Dear Architects and/or Building Managers,

On the property you are responsible for, please locate the bicycle rack and then do the following:

1. Stand next to it.
2. Look directly up. What do you see?

If your answer is a(n): awning, overhang, roof, ceiling, tent, artsy glass structure, rusty leaky white-trash corrugated carport tin, force field generated from the nearby forest moon — really any sort of solid substance whatsoever — thank you, and good job.

If your answer is the sky… please kill yourself immediately, you worthless fucking idiot.

Sincerely yours,
BASIC COMMON SENSE IN A REGION NOTORIOUS FOR ITS RAINFALL

Comedian Patrice O’Neal, 41, died in November after complications caused by a stroke.

While Patrice was tremendously well-respected among other comics, and had earned a decent amount of TV exposure, he wasn’t especially famous yet with the public at large. Before his untimely death, Patrice O’Neal was basically Zach Galifianakis right before The Hangover.

I almost never queue up specific comedy specials more than once, but O’Neal’s “Elephant in the Room” was masterful and funny enough that I watched it three separate times, before his death occasioned another viewing. There are a number of great bits that had me gasping with laughter; my favorite is probably the amazing, heartfelt proposal for a national Workplace Harassment Day:

“Oh my God — Human Resources!! The grizzly bear just did…
grizzly bear stuff…”

You can order the DVD of Elephant in the Room or watch it right now via Netflix Streaming or Amazon Instant Video. Can, and probably should.